Lead by example
Lead by example, not by force
Boys and young men copy what we do far more than what we say.
They copy what we do
Boys and young men learn more from watching than from being told. How a man treats a waiter, loses a game, talks about his partner, handles being wrong, or behaves after a drink is all being watched.
Force teaches the wrong thing
Fear and humiliation can get a boy to do what he is told. What they teach is that the bigger person wins. Respect, patience and clear limits teach something better and last longer.
Ordinary moments
Keeping a small promise. Putting the phone away during a conversation. Saying "I do not know, let us find out." Apologising without "but". Enjoying something ordinary together. None of it is dramatic. All of it counts.
You do not need to be extraordinary
Nobody needs a perfect man to look up to. They need a reliable one, who is honest when he gets it wrong.
Talk it through
The SI guide can help you think about your own version of this. It is not James, and not a professional of any kind.